Yesterday’s CrossFit Total deserves its own separate post. I had fully expected to walk into the box and see a running WOD, but Coach Holly had something else in store for us: CrossFit Total. If you’ve never done it, it’s basically your three best attempts at a back squat, strict press, and deadlift.
We did this last year, on December 2, 2015. At that time, I weighed around 103 pounds. My CrossFit Total was 290, broken down like this:
- Back Squat: 105#
- Strict Press: 55#
- Deadlift: 130#
After my epic injury in April, CrossFit Total showed up on the whiteboard again. I weighed 102 pounds. I got 302:
- Back Squat: 100#
- Strict Press: 52#
- Deadlift: 150#
I looked at that score as an improvement. My total had gone up, but I had lost five pounds on my back squat and three pounds on my strict press.
Today, I got 320:
- Back Squat: 110#
- Strict Press: 55#
- Deadlift: 155#
After CrossFit and a recovery shake, I weighed in at 107 pounds, which is probably more than I actually weigh (my other weights were taken first thing in the morning). I’m probably closer to 105-106.
I write this because, first and foremost, I hit two PRs: my back squat and my deadlift. My deadlift was ugly, but Coach Holly said my back squat looks a lot better. I’m not leaning forward as much. The strict press was more difficult. I literally put one extra pound on the bar. I could not budge it past my chin. No rep.
I also write down my weights because, first and foremost, I can back squat more than my body weight. I can strict press more than 50% of my body weight. I’m on the way to deadlifting 150% of my body weight.
Second, as someone who has struggled with an eating disorder for three decades (yes, even today, because it never goes away), being able to PR my CrossFit Total is a huge (YUUUGE?) accomplishment. Being able to say, yeah, I gained five pounds – but also PR’ed my Total by 18 is recovery at its finest. No, I don’t consider myself recovered. But I’m starting to understand that the number on the scale isn’t nearly as important as the numbers on my bar.
Third, I have to remember that lifting and CrossFit is a journey. When I came into the box, my back squat was at 90 pounds. My deadlift was 130. It has been a long, slow journey as I learn technique and form. Once I work out all my bad CrossFit habits, I’m confident that I’ll see my CrossFit Total numbers soar. Maybe not next time we do it, but it will happen.